Hey you,
You can’t expect yourself to be perfect when showing up for the first time. You won’t be the fastest runner in the group. You won’t unite the room in one sitting. You won’t be the best drummer when everyone else in the jam has been playing jazz for longer than you’ve been alive.
But that’s okay.
Expecting yourself to be perfect takes away from the growth. The journey. The joy of it all. It’s not important to show up impressing people. What’s important is showing up at all. You can only grow into that version of yourself by being consistent. Make it into a practice, and improve with each occasion.
This is as much true for drumming as it is for any social occasion. If you measure the skill of connection based on the friends you’ve made and the joy of being around them, then it takes practice to get there. You’ll likely resist going every time, but you’ll always leave feeling enlightened. People love the runt, the noob, so long as they carry the joy and enthusiasm of a child eager to learn. They like to see how far they’ve come, and they love teaching you. Show up, and make a dilligent effort to make a new friend each time. Or just talk to one person. Show up and make the simplest effort you can to connect with someone. And a year from now, you’ll be surrounded by loving and passionate people.
So show up shy. Show up to run, not to impress. Show up to listen to music or dance or simply to be in a room with people who can inspire you. Then trust that with time, you will connect with people. You will attract and grow. Because you’ll reach more PB’s keeping pace with someone who has been running cross country their whole life than you will pushing yourself alone up a hill. And at least this way, you’ll make some friends along the way.